Slim Shady is so Relatable

For those who doesn’t really know me well, I love listening to Eminem, Kendrick Lamar, Fort Minor, Aqua Timez, KOHH, BeWhy and MINO, because some of the songs are just relatable with my life, for this one I picked up Eminem songs that’s the most relatable to me πŸ™‚

River

 

I’ve been a liar, been a thief
Been a lover, been a cheat
All my sins need holy water, feel it washing over me
Well, little one, I don’t want to admit to something
If all it’s gonna cause is pain
Truth and my lies right now are falling like the rain
So let the river run

So for this song is very relatable to me, when I have to see my own personality of myself, than I also got an evil side of myself I could say, its like repent on my sins to someone else could be with friend and also with God. But at the same thing is like I have to face my real problems in life instead of running away from it, since I really love to running away from my problems πŸ™‚ people called me if I got alibi etc.. well some people might not know my really feelings so that’s why rather than moaning I wrote it to words.

Not Afraid

And I just can’t keep living this way
So starting today
I’m breaking out of this cage
I’m standing up, I’mma face my demons
I’m manning up, I’mma hold my ground
I’ve had enough, now I’m so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now (now)

So for this song I guess I always put it as my rock when I got problems in life..I just have to manning up and face it. No matter what will happen in my life, I have to tell myself to put my life together, I am not messed up, but I struggle on accepting few things some of it is very personal ones πŸ™‚ I just can’t accept if there was something bad happened to my mum πŸ™‚ but I have to accept it, and thus will help me to forgive the person, that close to me as well but hurting my mum.
Walk on Water

Why, are expectations so high?
Is it the bar I set?
My arms, I stretch, but I can’t reach
A far cry from it, or it’s in my grasp, but as
Soon as I grab, squeeze
I lose my grip like the flying trapeze
Into the dark, I plummet
Now the sky’s blackening, I know the mark’s high
Butterflies rip apart my stomach
Knowing that no matter what bars I come with
You’re gonna hark, gripe, and that’s a hard Vicodin to swallow
So I scrap these, as pressure increases, like khakis
I feel the ice cracking, because
For this one the first part was “I walk on water but ain’t no Jesus” but its kind of true sometimes people see me as this “good girl” image, very kind, but honestly I’m not that kind of person. I lived in a mask where I can’t express myself, I have difficulty with it, when the song said the expectations to high, I can relate to it. People expect me to be a good girl, A student, perfect daughter but that’s not what happened at all πŸ™‚ I just want to tell everyone “it’s okay not to be okay, but you need to fight the “not okay” and if your closed ones hurt you its okay because you got yourself. πŸ™‚

Stronger Than I Was

But you won’t break me
You’ll just make me stronger than I was
Before I met you, I bet you I’ll be just fine without you
And if I stumble, I won’t crumble
I’ll get back up and uhhh
And I’mma still be humble when I scream fuck you
‘Cause I’m stronger than I was

For Stronger Than I Was, the first part was able to make me cry 😦 “you used to say that I never be nothing without you, and I believe”…. I got someone that usually told me I’m her burden, and I’m not going to mauled a single thing πŸ™‚ people compare me with other girls coming from my town because they look delicate and pretty :), very “feminine” but I could not do that I need to build and protect myself..they don’t understand. So when I found this song “But you won’t break me, You’ll just make me stronger than I was” the verse that I relate where I believe that the words itself one time will be like an air passing through my ears πŸ™‚

 

Guts over Fear

 

I was afraid to
Make a single sound
Afraid I will never find a way out, out, out
Afraid I never before
I didn’t wanna go another round
An angry man’s power will shut you up
Trip wires fill this house with tip-toe love
Run out of excuses with every word
So here I am and I will not run
Guts over fear, (The time is here)
Guts over fear, (I shall not tear)
For all the times I let you push me around
And let you keep me down
(Now I got) Guts over fear, guts over fear

I did not know if I got bullied , or I bullied other people or they just hate me, or people thing I’m building alibi. I’m just a normal girl, but I have difficulty on communicating πŸ™‚ some of the stuffs that I love are told being too dark 😦 , people told me that I should not listen to certain music like hip-hop, or alternative rock because they got this stigma of being something bad :). I finally able to break the wall with the persona @thegoodtheweird on Instagram where I can poured up all my feelings.

 

Beautiful Pain

 

As time passes, things change everyday
But wounds, wounds heal
But scars still remaining the same
But tomorrow today’s goin’ down in flames
Throw the match at the passed up place

I questioned about loyalty everyday πŸ™‚ its hard to explained what really happened (I’m okay I don’t get abuse or etc its more about mental stage). Its easy for someone to say sorry at once when he/she didn’t realized that it impacted on my memories 😦 but I believe that one day I can forgive, because for me to be forgiven I need to forgive, and if I fall I’ll take the fall πŸ™‚

Headlights ft Nate Ruess

I want a new life
One without a cause
So I’m coming home tonight
Well no matter what the cost
And if the plane goes down
Or if the crew can’t wake me up
Just know that I was alright
And I was not afraid to die

I always tell myself when I got “that” problem (the above problems πŸ™‚ ) that I don’t feel like want to live anymore, because first I don’t want to be picture perfect, when the truth is like that, and for someone laughing at other family’s divorce its not funny, because you can’t see the perspective of the kids whose parents got divorced. I’m not afraid to die actually πŸ™‚ I used to get the sleeping pills with reason I got painful gastric (not anymore guys πŸ™‚ ) and it can put me to sleep and forget about the problems or painkillers for the gastric pain. But after I listen to various songs it put me up together I mean, I can have new life with other purpose by forgiving :).

 

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